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Want to Catch Up on my Journey? Of course you do... (Days 1-5)

Oh, hello! I'd like to present to you my Self-Compassion and Beat Burnout Challenge... The Cliffnotes

(I'm the purple dialogue)

Day 1- Your Inner Critic
  1. What types of things do you typically judge or criticize yourself for? (career, appearance, relationships, parenting, etc.) I definitely judge my ability to be a good mom to my children after a long, strenuous day at work.
  2. What language do you use with yourself when you notice a flaw or mistake? You suck at life, you're ruining your children's lives.
  3. Close your eyes and get in touch with the voice behind that negative language. What does the owner of that negative voice look like to you?--what name would you give it? I cannot name names, but I decided to give my critic the nickname "The Bitch!" because when I started at my current position, the Bitch that previously held the post told me "You're going to drown!" I was so furious- how DARE you assume that I cannot handle this! I swore that I would never drown- and I never did. So eff you, Bitch! 
Day 2- Talking to your Inner Critic
I was able to reflect on my IC. This bitch is always rewinding the day, highlighting on how I verbally regurgitate everything that bothers me to my team. Every little annoyance, everything someone said or did, or how unfair the system is. How everyone is doing a shitty job in their classrooms. How these kids are being serviced. Blah Blah Blah. Every conversation turns into ME complaining, and that turns into an existential crisis. 
I realized when I was talking to my inner critic, it was NOT the way I would address my best friend! So edit: to my best friend, I always tell her (and she tells me) "Your feelings are valid, feel them, own them, because how you feel is not wrong! But then let's look at it (what's bothering you) logically." This validates how we are feeling in the moment, when we are venting to each other. We are allowed to feel how we feel- anger,embarrassment, frustration, sorrow, but then have to (kindly and logically) work through how to alleviate these feelings, and come up with next steps.
Day 3-Mantra
I've decided that I'm reviving my old mantra, which still resonates with  me. Stop complaining- although my feelings are absolutely valid, my focus needs to be "What will you do about it?"
My Mantra
Day 4- Self Reflection
I realized that the Bitch is the one talking to me, but that I have always thought that this voice was Me. Not only Me, but Me telling the absolute, deep rooted, 100% accurate truth. I've been accepting it. Even when I try to fight it, it comes back to me saying, but it's true. Even if it's negative, even if it sucks, it's true. 
When I had this awful epiphany, I was still like, "Ok, that's The Bitch, but she's still telling the truth!"
So here's what I do (and this is the truth!): I closed my eyes tight, and separated the voice from the work I've been doing, and said, "Your feelings are valid, but what are you going to do about it?" I felt a rush, almost felt like I was going to start crying. It was powerful. I was able to move forward. Now, will this happen all the time? Will I be able to hold on to the ability to seperate myself from The Bitch? Most likely not, at least not right away. But I felt a change, and so I have hope. I know it worked. 

 Day 5- Mantras
1. You're feelings are Valid
2. Be the Change
3. You have no Power over me

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